I was impressed with you when we first met. In all honesty, I was a little intimidated by you. You seemed so confident, so sure of what you were doing and where you were going. I wasn’t sure we could be friends. I didn’t know if you had room for or wanted any more friends. You seemed so busy.
Taking the chance to talk to you only reinforced my feeling that you were someone I would like to get to know, someone I would like to be able to call a friend and really mean it. I saw qualities in you that I want to see more of in myself. I thought hanging out with you maybe some of it would rub off. I thought being your friend would help me be my better self.
Then I got to know you. The second layer of knowing. The stressed out because you’re so busy you. The stretched thin and fragile you. The you who doesn’t have all the answers and doesn’t have it all together. The you who looked a lot more like me. And I took a step back. Not because of you but because I saw my real self in you, not my better self.
You didn’t come looking for me. We were too new to expect that. But I kept watching. I would make little attempts at friendship and try not to take it personally when you didn’t have time for me. I wish the first shine was still there but seeing how you handled the pressure, disappointments, and challenges of life, I started thinking a little less of you. I’m sorry.
A few years have passed since we first met. We have settled into a nice but not intimate friendship. My respect for you has grown and the desire to be a good friend has returned. You are still as busy as ever and we still have trouble getting together as often as I would like. But the qualities that first made me want you in my life as still there. If anything, I have come to appreciate your heart and character even more.
This morning I was working on a course for writers that said to list the 10 people I was writing for. You came to mind quickly. You have an important role in my journey, in my story. You being you encourages me to be a better me. And after all that was where we began.
Reposted from previous RW site.
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